Signs of Grooming a Young Person for Trafficking
When you hear that a young person has been caught up in trafficking it is common to believe that child was kidnapped into the situation. However, this is rarely reality. In fact, of the cases prosecuted in 2023 in Federal court only .2% of victims were kidnapped, instead, most knew their trafficker [1]. Most often a trafficker will use a grooming process to manipulate their victim and eventually exploit them.
The grooming process aims to build a relationship with the victim, gain their trust, and make an emotional connection. Eighty-five percent of trafficking victims report having a close relationship with their trafficker [2]. This is evidence that this grooming tactic works and allows the trafficker to manipulate and control the victim better in the future.
Stages of Grooming
- Gain Information and Trust
Once a trafficker has identified a potential victim, they will work to gain information about them to use as a means of earning their trust. This can be done through simple conversations online or if they are in-person the trafficker may listen in to discussions about the young person to learn details about their life.
42% of victims report their trafficker earned their trust within 1 month of meeting [2].
- Fill the Need
Next, they will look for a need they can fill. This can be as simple as buying the victim something (a new device, jewelry, clothes, etc…) or giving them cash, drugs, or alcohol. Some traffickers may provide support to a young person who is getting none or very little at home. While others will develop a romantic relationship with their victim and promise them love.
Some traffickers may offer a fake job to their victim, often in the music or modeling industries, using the promise of glamour and excitement to further connect with their victim.
- Isolate
The trafficker will begin to isolate the victim from their support system, whomever that system may be. It could be from their family, friends, sports teams, school choir, etc… The goal is to make the victim more reliant on them and drive a wedge between the support system and the victim.
- Abuse and Control
Once the trafficker has isolated the victim the abuse and control will start. The moment a victim starts experiencing this level of trauma how their brain functions begin to change. The brain essentially goes into survival mode and only focuses on the basic needs of survival (food, sleep, safety) making the possibility of developing a successful escape plan more difficult.
“If I do what I’m told… I will get to eat, sleep and I won’t get hurt” is the mentality that starts to set in.
Red Flags of Grooming Behavior
– An adult paying a specific young person more attention than others – this may just be paying them compliments or buying them small gifts at an unnecessary level.
– Slowly isolating a person from family and friends. This may be physical isolation (quitting the soccer team or dropping out of their favorite club) or emotional isolation (making statements that they no longer trust you).
– Undermining a young person’s supportive relationships. Saying things like “No one understands you like I do” causes division.
– Any mention of an older boyfriend or new friends without a lot of other information.
– Having new things that you did not give them. Such as clothes, jewelry, electronics, and money. Often, they cannot or will not explain where it came from.
– A young person being uncharacteristically upset, withdrawn, distressed.
– A young person having more sexualized behavior or language that is not age-appropriate or consistent with what you have taught them.
– Spending more time away from home or going missing for periods of time.
– Spending more time online.
– Secretive behavior.
– A sudden and drastic change in behavior, attitude, and appearance. While this doesn’t always mean grooming it usually means something (bullying, other forms of abuse) and should be addressed.
What To Do If You Expect Grooming
1. Avoid Ultimatums – an ultimatum such as, “You are going to stop talking to this person or I’m taking your phone away” creates a need that the trafficker can fill. “Oh, they took your phone, that is okay, here is a new one, your parents don’t have to know about it.”
2. Offer a safe place for your child to talk about their relationship with the trafficker without judgment. The trafficker may have told your child you are untrustworthy so be consistent with your words and actions.
3. Do not speak badly about the trafficker, only about their behavior. When a young person feels they are “in love” with someone any negativity about that person will possibly drive the young person further away from you. Focus on the behavior itself and your conversations will be more beneficial.
4. Grooming in and of itself is not a crime, the crime happens when the abuse starts. If you believe any form of abuse has occurred, report it to the local police.
5. For further support reach out to the National Human Trafficking Hotline (888.373.7888) to be connected to resources in your area.
Remember grooming itself is not a crime, so being vigilant and recognizing this behavior is key in preventing your child from being trafficked.
Other Ways to Protect Children
Guardian Group works tirelessly to identify those who experienced this grooming process and did not have a parent or caregiver there to protect them and therefore have been caught up in trafficking. Our Analysis Team identifies these victims online and provides resource-constrained law enforcement with enough information to take action.
There are countless victims in the US, and we need to increase our ability to identify them. We need your help!
Become a member of Team 1591 and help us do just that. Inspired by the law that states that you cannot sell a child for sex, this Team of committed people is making a lasting impact on this crime today. Join us!
References
[1] Lane, et al., 2023 Federal Human Trafficking Report, Human Trafficking Institute (2024)
[2] Thorn (2018, January). Survivor Insights: The Role of Technology in Domestic Minor Sex Trafficking [PDF].